Posts Tagged ‘ Jacqueline Fernandez ’

Brothers

brothers_poster
Brothers
Release date: August 14, 2015
Directed by: Karan Malhotra
Cast: Akshay Kumar, Jackie Shroff, Sidharth Malhotra, Jacqueline Fernandez, Shefali Shah, Kulbhushan Kharbanda, Ashutosh Rana, Kiran Kumar

Amongst the innumerable remakes that spring up in Hindi cinema every year, I can’t hold the remake against the original as a huge chunk of these films are unknown entities for me. I happen to be acquainted well with the film that Brothers is adapted from, i.e. Warriors. The 2011 original was supremely grim, slightly contrived and largely dramatic and ruthless in its handling of  severed bonds and their consequences.

Karan Malhotra willingly waters down every ingredient of the film, to accommodate two excruciatingly grating and intolerably long flashbacks and one of them is, to put it politely, quite useless. David (Akshay Kumar) and Monty (Sidharth Malhotra) are, you guessed it right, brothers. According to the film’s technicalities, foster-brothers, but yeah. The wedge driven between them is drawn by their alcoholic father Gary (Jackie Shroff) who is a former “underground fighter”.

The sons take off individually in their father’s flight and grow up to be… “underground fighters”! David has a family and is therefore forced to lead a more secure lifestyle. His daughter has an ailment which is mentioned verbally thrice in the span of thirty minutes and is almost forgotten thereafter. The film overloads itself with stereotypes and works up a formula for the order of proceedings, and that is how it plays out; emotions before the interval, and all the fighting humdrum after.

To be fair, the original film didn’t boast of being very innovative in the first place, but Brothers just goes on to kill any blemish of innovation or experimentation which could have possibly existed. It bludgeons your intelligence with mediocre storytelling, awful commentating and it thrashes your ears with its jarring background score and the painfully unimaginative soundtrack. The extensive length of the flashbacks rule out adequate screen-time and thus any scope for showing any range for the actors.

Jackie Shroff gets to be around as the bumbling, incoherent drunk and he’s a perfect 8 (8 because the film has obviously lowered its own set of expectations). Jacqueline looks good and talks her own limited Hindi. Who could have thought this would have been an achievement for an actor in a Hindi film! Kumar and Malhotra look their parts and immerse themselves in the often technically unsound action sequences. Kareena Kapoor does a faux striptease.

The film’s climax, which was very emotionally touching to see in Warrior, stands overwrought here as there is no empathy for the two pieces of beef grappling on the screen. You’re asked to feel an ocean of grief and a few more things when they fail to earn any of it.

My rating: *1/2 (1.5 out of 5)

Roy

Roy_film_poster

Roy
Release date: February 13, 2015
Directed by: Vikramjit Singh
Cast: Arjun Rampal, Jacqueline Fernandez, Ranbir Kapoor, Shernaz Patel, Shibani Dandekar, Rajit Kapur, Anupam Kher

Crying babies and ringing mobile phones are an avid cinema viewer’s worst nightmare. There was one crying baby right behind me when I went in to watch Roy. I feared how it would ruin my whole movie experience. In the initial few scenes, I do admit to be disturbed by the shrieking and weeping of the kid.

As the film progressed, the baby was the least of my concerns.

Placed between heavy articulated and glossy ‘artsy’ sceneries, Roy is supposedly a romantic-thriller that offers absolutely no thrill or enduring romance. Kabir (Arjun Rampal) is an unchallenged filmmaker who rambles about some robbery on a talk show and that robbery is forcibly woven into a fictional character’s existence. The said fictional character is Roy, created by Kabir for his hit film franchise.

Kabir is incredibly pretentious and right until the end, he has no redeemable qualities to build any affinity or sympathy for him. He starts writing his next film’s script after fixing the cast and crew. There is a very pointless conversation about ‘inspiration’ with his father (Anupam Kher is wasted as the father here.) Once inspired, on the sets of his film, he meets Ayesha (Jacqueline Fernandez) who is also a filmmaker, except she’s an “intellectual”; which just means that she wears reading glasses and read books with a glass of wine in her hand. Some love involuntarily happens, some parallel track with Ayesha’s lookalike keeps developing. Will you care? Nope.

Kabir is said to have had 22 casual flings before he meets Ayesha, and then by some god-knows-what wizardry, he falls in ‘love’ with Ayesha. There is no insight on why he feels like how he does, no reasoning for why he was a complete douchebag before his heartbreak. The alternative parallel track has Kabir playing out moments from his real life in a cinematic manner, through the eyes of his film’s protagonist. He keeps incorporating events from his life into Roy’s life. The ‘smart’ Ayesha also breaks into rambunctious Hindi filmish song-and-dance too!

The relationships between Kabir and Ayesha, and Roy and Tia are shown to be the headlining points of the film, yet there’s virtually nothing between their conversations that should keep you interested in the proceedings. The characters mouth philosophical lines about, often ending these lines abruptly. Is it done to create a sense of mystery around them, I asked myself at various junctures, only to realize that there is nothing on offer.

In a certain scene, Kabir says to his assistant/deputy that he hasn’t even started writing the screenplay of a film which he’s just days away from shooting. This confession seems increasingly true as Roy (the film) keeps meandering directionless. No actor has any material to chew into, only stylish clothes to wear and exotic locations to roam around.

There is not a single indication of what the actual conflict of the film is, or what the payoff can possibly be. There are no real obstacles to conquer. There is absolutely nothing here. Just a bunch of well-dressed people playing “Let’s make a hollow film but just pretend to be serious about it.”

Ever come across someone who keeps talking in riddles, and those mindbenders have no clear answers or a purpose? If Roy–the film– were a person, it would be just like that. After the halfway mark, I couldn’t care about the crying baby because I was numbed with the constant frustration induced by the constant stream of garbage on screen.

My rating: ½ (0.5 out of 5)

Race 2

Race 2 is awful.
Race 2
Release date: January 25, 2012
Directed by: Abbas-Mustan
Cast: Saif Ali Khan, John Abraham, Deepika Padukone, Jacqueline Fernandez, Anil Kapoor, Ameesha Patel

While the filmmakers unite for more creative power and liberalization against the tyrannical censor boards and innumerable religious/ethnic groups, Race 2 comes as a breath of fresh, sorry, stale air. Race 2 should have been bludgeoned by the censor board for its bordering obscene (and cliche) lines and by the other social watchdogs to prevent the masses from being subjected to continuous nonsensical  exhibition of in-your-face trash.

Rather than specifying the non-existent ‘plot’ and the other painful details I’ll just tell you why Race 2 should be abhorred and detested as a piece of cinema, writing, acting, skill or any goddamn thing.

Race 2 sucks at all levels because:

  • A sharpshooter has a sniper rifle and he doesn’t shoot his target (Bipasha Basu) instead he shoots a bullet on the petrol tank lid. Lamborghini explosion, you see?
  • Saif Ali Khan’s character Ranveer Singh has blonde highlights and long hair in his entry scene and one song, while he continues to have completely black hair gelled back for the rest of the film.
  • Everyone looks like a million bucks. That’s not a bad thing, given that million bucks is the actual budget of each character’s costumes and appearance.
  • The usual complaint of “women being reduced to objects” doesn’t stand true, because every actor is objectified and specifically ordered to not act.
  • Anil Kapoor’s character Robert D’Costa answers Ameesha Patel’s “Tum ladki mein sabse pehle kya dekhti ho?” with a “Wo depened karta hai ladki aa rahi hai ya ja rahi hai.” Lifted. Boring. Stupid. Ancient.
  • The ladies have been asked to maximize on their assets. That means, each woman has her own USP body part. For example, Deepika Padukone’s legs in dresses with long cuts, Jacqueline Fernandez’s abs and butt and Ameesha’s breasts. Not that I am complaining, but after a point even that gets monotonous.
  • The dialogue is as predictable as a, I’m falling short of comparisons here. It’s hauntingly reminding of the 80’s vague lines. With bits of English peppered, it still remains drab and seriously underwhelming.
  • A ‘street fighter’ Armaan Malik (John Abraham) becomes a billionaire out of nowhere. BILLIONS FROM NOWHERE. And his step-sister – what would a Race film be without foster siblings who double-cross each other – Elena (Deepika Padukone) claims she’s helped him get those billions.
  • The twists are just like a children’s fantasy game, where everyone gains an upperhand continuously by claiming their weapon is more powerful. There’ an Audi with parachutes installed in it, more parachutes, CCTV footage, and at the end, ‘tere glaas mein zeher (poison) mila tha’.
  • And to top it all, last but not the least, a locker’s password at the St. Turin’s Church is ‘OBEYGOD’. Obey God. Are the nuns allowed to have a Facebook account?

But credit must be given where it’s due. Race 2 brilliantly carries forward the legacy of Race 1 with its incredibly stupendous amount of belief in the directors’ conviction to deliver a preposterous lump of shit. Race 2 also joins an elite class of worst films of all times.

My rating: * (1 out of 5)

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